Monday, December 20, 2010

the most wonderful time of the year

it's Christmas week 

no snow on the ground 
but it's c-c-cold!

trying to stay positive 
trying

trying...

smiling for the sake of smiling helps.

saw some really pretty decorated homes tonight 
and wished I was their neighbor
so I could look out at the beauty all night. 

cookie baking in the plans for later this week

and wrapping what's left of my tiny pile of gifts to give. 

happy for what we have

love.






Friday, December 03, 2010

december

i walked by myself, feeling a bit self-conscious about the whole idea
it's not that i wanted to go alone

i didn't

but that's what happens when 
your husband has left you 
and your only child is a teenager and doesn't want to go

i'm not happy, not at all

and it shows
and it feels

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

thankful. day 24

i am thankful for   opportunity & the hope of a better future.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Monday, November 22, 2010

thankful. day 22

i am thankful for

 beautiful sunshine filled days. brisk autumn breezes. white fluffy clouds.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

thankful. day 21

today i am thankful for

Heat. & socks & blankets. I've been freezing all day!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Friday, November 12, 2010

Thankful. day 12

i am thankful for Sunshine. And a sixty degree day in the middle of November :)

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Saturday, November 06, 2010

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Friday, October 29, 2010

trapped

i feel

trapped.

it's not just my physical location
but
my BEING

my mind
my thoughts

TRAPPED

inside.

Alone.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

i love this

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

-ee cummings

it's not that i don't want to write a blog

because i really, really do

i just want to write intelligent things

and my brain is not
working

the way i want it to or the way i think it should

i need to get it looked at
because sometimes i just think i'm stupid

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

what a week

our final days
in our house.

it's come down to this -

by sunday we will have all of the things
that we can take

out of our house

we've been here for going on eight years

june 30 would be eight years.

i've never felt more alone

in my life.

the new house is almost all painted
didn't get to the bathroom, didn't finish all the trim
or all the ceilings

but

it's in great shape to be moving in ~

this house is in complete disarray
which as everyone knows is a big
pain in the ass

but you get through it because you
have to.

onward.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Onward!

Began painting our new house this past week. The ceiling in Beau's room
was a dark blue, so I covered it with Kilz primer. Didn't realize until it was time for cleanup
that it was an oil-based Kilz, not latex.

Oops.

What a mess. Had to drive to the hardware store, get a can of
mineral spirits, and try to get the slime off of
everything I had used. Ended up throwing the brush
& the roller cover away. Yuck! The roller pan doesn't look too good
either, but I bought some plastic liners to use from now on
in that pan. Sorry about that brush, it was a good one. I just couldn't
get it clean.

All of the other paint is latex, not making that mistake again. The good thing is,
oil based Kilz covers really well. And it's nice & thick, not drippy.

So we are moving on Easter weekend. If the painting is all done before
then, I will start moving things that can fit in my car. Little by little, it will
get done. I'm so glad I've had this month to prepare the new house,

nothing like fresh paint everywhere to help with the feeling of a fresh start.

The landlords were so incredibly nice, they said to go ahead & choose
a new ceiling fan for the living room, new light fixtures for the pantry,
kitchen & bedroom closet, new mini blinds for Beau's room, a new mailbox,
and send them the bill! They are going to pay for an electrician to put a new stove
outlet in the kitchen for where I want to put the stove. Also, I've already met the plumber over there, and he's going to redo the shower by bringing it up to date & adding a much
better shower curtain ring. Showering in a claw foot bathtub is a challenge.

The basement is pretty dirty, (giant COBWEBS everywhere!!) and the previous tenants
left a lot of things behind, so I have to move their stuff
in order to store my stuff where I want it.
We share the basement with the guy who lives upstairs, and he
doesn't appear to have anything stored down there besides his
washer & dryer. I need a place to put my Christmas boxes & some
other boxes that just won't fit in the house.

Going from a 3-story dwelling (that includes a full finished basement, plus a shed!)
to a 4 room one is not easy. I am leaving tons of furniture behind. I can't
even take my computer desk, it just won't fit anywhere. Going to have
to make sacrifices & make do.

The colors I chose are good, for the most part. Still not too sure of the kitchen paint;
I wanted butter ~ ended up with lemon, I'm afraid. It looks okay during the day,
but last night when it got dark & I turned the kitchen light on,

it appeared to be a cold, almost fluorescent lemon yellow!

I need a WARM, sunny, buttery yellow!!

Not sure what to do, if we should just finish it and
leave it be, or go to Home Depot today & start over with another yellow.

The living room color is totally gorgeous. I love it. I chose a green shade that is
really great. It reminds me of a Bosc pear. So pretty. Beau's room is going to be a
silvery grey. I painted a little bit yesterday before we left just to see.
I like it.

The worst parts of painting are the ceilings (my neck is killin' me!) and the wood
trim. Oh, how I hate the tedious work of painting the woodwork with white
semi-gloss and making sure it's neat & not dripping all over the carpet! Looking
forward to the day I can finally say it's DONE!! Can't be soon enough!

My house is not even 1/2 packed. I do have boxes packed for a tag sale,
but don't have the energy to actually hold a tag sale. The only time I could do it
would be Saturday, and I don't know what the weather
will be. I think I should try, can't see myself hauling all this stuff
over to the new house & not knowing where to put it.

Anyway. This is my life, currently, busy with trying to pack,

trying to paint,

trying to move.

Doncha wish you were me??

Sunday, March 14, 2010

life

You never know when it’s your time to die … young, geriatric, or somewhere in between, but you know what? We each have that opportunity for a do-over, every day we are alive – we don’t need a near death experience to have that do-over. From here on out, we can choose to live a life without regret. We can’t change the past, and the regrets that go with it, but why would we want to? It’s made us who we are today. Some regrets may be big. Others may be small. We can learn from them, each and every one, if we choose to do so … and then let them go. ~Toni Johnson, "Vision and Verb"

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Three.







Happy 3rd Birthday, beautiful girl.

I miss you so much.


Valentine's (ick. ugh. blech!) Day





It's that time of year again.
Time for all the lonely & alone to realllllly notice

how alone & lonely they are.

Not me! I notice it all year long without any problem.

Since I'm a single mom raising a 13 year old boy - -

yep --- I'm the role model! -

I thought I'd do something sweet for him to let him know

one) how much he's loved and
two) how no one will ever EVER love him as much as I do

Heehee.

I think I'm funny.

Anyway, I was up super-duper early this morning *ahem* 3AM

so while the oatmeal/butterscotch cookies were baking
I decided to make a Valentine for my Beau.
Beau is my son's name. Nope, today's not his birthday. But it could be, couldn't it?

Not your traditional Valentine card.
I think they're adorable! Wonder what he'll think?!?




Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Freezing, etc.


It's so cold!! Another snow is
on the way. We haven't had
a huge amount
this winter.

Yet.

I predict no school tomorrow.

I've been all over the
emotional map
lately.
Funny. That's so not true.

Not just lately! For a long time now. Longgggg time!!!!

Just jumping in.
Found a weight loss help site called
"Sparkpeople". Anyone heard of it?
Know anything about it? I joined but then
when I started making my profile page & stuff,
it got overwhelming. Logged off for now.

I've always wanted to lose weight, but
never want to do the 'work'.
Because it IS work, counting, calculating,

paying attention.

It's so much easier to NOT THINK about
food, eating, any of it.

Of course, do that, and...

you end up looking like me.

Here's a photo of a piece of pottery
my son made for me.
I can't express just how much I love

pottery pieces that my son makes for me.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Go see my friend Cate ~ and (just in case) bring chocolate!!




So I have this blog/twitter pal, Cate. She's funny. She's creative. She's snark-tastic. She often feels like punching people in the face. She's got a lot of blogs. This one in particular that I'm flaunting today is called "7 Days 7 Answers". It's a writer's prompt thing, you read her little ditty each day, and if you're so inspired, you write an answer or a conclusion or an explanation for whatever is going on in her entry. I'll admit, I've won once...but I'll also admit, I've only participated twice. You don't technically 'win' anything, really, but the sweet, sweet thrill of that feeling of personal achievement! Anywho, today she's posted her first GIVEAWAY and it's a pretty nice one! All the info is below, links are on my sidebar and in this entry ~ click on the bloggy button at the start of this entry...click on her blog title, "7 Days 7 Answers".

So whatcha waitin' for...ready? Set? GO! And don't forget to tell Cate that Cindy sent ya, so she won't wanna punch me in the face!


$20 Amazon.com Gift Certificate Giveaway!

That's right, time for my first giveaway. Here's how it's going to work. You earn an entry for the following:
1. Follow this blog
2. Post about this blog (leave the link in your comment)
3. Post one of the buttons on your sidebar (leave the link in your comment)
4. Tweet to win (you can use this handy link if you like)
Leave one comment for each of the activities above for up to 4 total entries. You will receive an additional entry for anyone who comments on this post and says that you sent them.

The Prize: I'll email you a $20 Amazon.com Gift Certificate. Or, if you're in Canada/UK/etc, a US $20 equivalent to their Amazon site.

Deadline: The winner will be named next Monday, February 1st, using random.org. If the winner does not claim the prize by Wednesday, February 3rd, I'll draw a new winner.

Fine print: There isn't really any fine print. If random.org chooses an entry I can't verify, I'll draw another winner. Nobody is sponsoring this, unless you count my husband but you can't really count him because he doesn't know. I'm not being compensated in any way. I cannot be bribed with chocolate (in this particular situation).

Friday, January 22, 2010

Hope for Haiti Now ~ Beautiful performances

<a href="http://www.mtv.com/news/" target="_blank">Christina Aguilera Performs Live! Hope For Haiti</a>