I don't know, so don't ask me.

I'm not writing lately because I have nothing to say. But that's not true! There's plenty going on inside my head. I've hit one of those plateaus again, where writing it in black and white and actually reading it over, just looking at it - makes it too real. That's always been the most difficult thing for me.

I'm full of sadness lately, but there is joy as well. I am worried about so many things, yet confident that it will be okay. I'm conflicted. Always. I am a Gemini, so much so that I almost never read a horoscope and think, "Well, that was crap. That's nothing like me." And yet I rarely read my horoscope. I suppose because, deep down, I do believe it's all crap!?

I shoveled more snow today. I've lost count of how many storms we've had. If I guess, I would say 6? Not sure. There have been 2 snow days, with no school. There's also been a delayed opening. I think there was only one. The storm before this one, on Wednesday, was all sleet & ice. That was hard to clean up. I'm out of rock salt for the driveway, have to go buy more. And more Ice Melt for the porch and steps. Found out last year that rock salt eats holes in my steps. Oops. But it worked great on the driveway! Turned an inch of ice to slush in 1/2 hour, so I could go out and push it aside.

Beau is doing alright. He missed several days of school in the past few weeks. He had a cold and then a bit of an anxiety problem...but that's better now. I haven't watched little Brittany in almost 2 weeks, because her mother is now in-between jobs. I still have a house full of little girl things, a lot of her clothes, diapers, toys, etc. I really don't know if I will be watching her again. Seems most of the anxiety my son was suffering was because of the babysitting situation. She is a wonderful, extremely well behaved toddler, but he had his own issues and reasons for being upset with her being here. I am missing the extra cash. A lot. It sure did help me tremendously when I was Christmas shopping! Beau received everything he wanted, all that was on his list. He was very grateful, and I reminded him just HOW I made all the money and that I thought it was worth it! I spent nearly all of it on Beau, and virtually nothing on myself. I literally bought myself one large package of ultra-fine Sharpies, and a DVD of 'The Dark Knight', 'cuz it was on SALE.

For Christmas, I got 2 movies from Beau and he got 2 from me, LOL! I have watched them all, and have taken some out from the library recently. Dave Jr. spent several nights with us, we watch movies and cook, he sleeps on the sofa. He and I shopped for groceries the other night and cooked a big pot of chili together! That was really nice, and fun! He's doing really well. He starts college classes on Jan. 23.

I haven't been in any swaps since before Christmas, I just couldn't get to them. My crafting desk is a mess, as I started cleaning out the drawers, and was organizing stuff on top of the desk. I walked away from it a few times, and haven't finished up yet. I was going to do a couple of ATC swaps this month, but I've dropped them for now (sorry, Liz!) because I'm just not confident that I'll get them done in time. I've made some informal resolutions for the new year, one is to ORGANIZE my things! I started in the basement, and now that's a work in progress. My desk is next, and it's been started. I have photos literally in every room of the house. One goal is to have all the photos in one room, haha. They don't have to be in albums, but boxes would be nice. I have loose piles of photos in dresser drawers mixed in with my socks, I swear to God! I don't know how I got so sloppy! My long term goal ? To have photos organized by year, and then subject! All in photo boxes stacked on the closet shelf! I'll let you know how that's going. Har-dee-har.

ATC "Dunce Cat" by Marie, Barnhart, MO - August, 2006